Finally, I've come to the 10th month of stay in the company where I hold my first permanent job. Last days are usually sad and sobby for many, but for me, I’ve been experiencing a lot of mixed emotions. Ups and downs, making it seem like I’m on this never-ending roller coaster ride..
Let me just pen down my reflections/thoughts here...
The past 10 months have been very enriching. I have made so many friends and colleagues in this company. They made work so much more bearable because we know we’re on the same boat. We received the same form of ‘torture’, it’s frustrating and overwhelming. Ask any of my fellow colleagues here and you will get the same comments about the company. It’s like an empire, with a ruler and some figure heads. The rest? Slaves.. Someone once said, "能离开这个公司是你的福气"
Like it or not, being a passive smoker becomes such a norm. I’m not talking about passive smoking along the roadsides/walkway.. Imagine doing it in an enclosed room, right in front of you at best..
So much so that lunchtime is the happiest time of the day, work is cast aside momentarily. When I first joined, lunch was usually taken at the canteen in the company. Food was provided, but you’ll soon get sick of it after a month of eating the same old dishes. Then we slowly ventured out to nearby JTC eateries. Not the typical/nicely furnished kind of food centres, but good enough to fill our empty stomachs, have a relaxing chat/rants with colleagues about work, bosses and life.
Located in the Kallang Industrial area, it is not the most glamourous place which every other fresh graduate would like to work in. Walking along pathways with numerous bicycles ringing their bells was a common sight, roads were often congested in the morning and breathing in exhaust fumes from trucks and cars was a norm as well. I usually alight from the bus smelling all nice and sweet, and smelling like a truck after 10 minutes of walking to work. I got all used to it as well, it was nothing actually as after a spray of perfume I can still smell good again. =P
As long as the job gives me satisfaction and offers me opportunity to grow/learn, anywhere is fine actually.
The first 2 months was traumatic, I swear. I was in a state of shock and trauma, I was practically flying around like a headless housefly. I got my hands dirty, did so much work that was way off my intended job scope. I got used to all that as well, convincing myself that I’m a fresh grad, I’m new, I should learn. I did whatever I was told, breathed in whatever smoke that was blown at me. Endured all forms of scoldings and orders...
Coming up with Business Plans and Proposals were the nicest part of my job. I love to meet external parties and clients, I like to interact and learn from them. But it becomes frustrating when your business plan (something you crafted with passion and effort) is changed beyond the point of recognition. You don’t even regard it as you own work after a while. Minimum number of changes per plan/proposal: 10. It happens all the time. Convincing the management that your plans are workable is simply a waste of time. It is often a guessing game; trying to understand what your bosses want is futile, because they are unsure themselves. There is no sense of achievement, and when acknowledgement of effort is lacking, it demoralizes you.
Ball games are common. Knowing how to play them well is an art.. A netball lover like me can’t even handle a simple ball game in the company. =P This I need to buck up. I’m not even good enough to be in the reserve team. I am the ball. Being pushed around with no one to fend me, this I’m used to it as well. Your skin needs to be that thick to be able to sustain all the shots. I believe it’s through that you’ll learn and grow. I take that in my stride too. Fall down and pick yourself up again.
Oh yes, did I mention the number of masks I’ve worn? It’s very common as well. Smiling/chatting happily with people I detest is as easy as ABC for me now. I can act so well that I can’t even recognize myself. Losing yourself and feeling immune at work is a warning that time is up. Working for money and clocking the hours at work becomes the main priority.
Employee turnover is scarily high. Trust me, it is sky high. New faces come and go, very frequently. I am considered a ‘long-time’ serving employee in the company. 10 months is long enough to let everyone in the company know you. Time flies and I have met really good friends and colleagues. Friends are definitely from my department. Simply because we are closely knitted, getting slammed left and right together from the bosses as we report directly to them. The bosses literally scold. Vulgarities come out as easily as nursery rhymes. I take them lightly, left ear in and right ear out. Why take it so hard?
Looking on the bright side, I’ve met really good friends and colleagues in the company. But sadly, their stay was often short lived. They made lunches so enjoyable and happy. The few ‘escapes’ out of kallang during lunches were so exciting! We cabbed out to town when bosses are not around. Doing ‘wrong’ things together really bonded the team. We eat dinner/sing/shop/chill after work on some days and they are the reason that I’ve stayed on for so long. It could have been shorter. These are friends, not colleagues anymore.
I’ve good friends in the company from many different countries. Some from Malaysia, China, Vietnam, US and some others. They showed me different perspectives in life and made me realize how fortunate Singaporeans are.
I’ve learnt how complicated and evil people/businesses can be, how to protect myself, how to cope with stress/scolding/unreasonable demands and also how to value myself. I truly believe responsibility and integrity goes a long way in life. Two simple words which I hold dearly in life.
In life and in work, I guess we have to balance and reason out some insecurities and irrational thoughts. As the saying goes, life is not a bed of roses.
Even roses have thorns. So find your scissors and snip all the imbalances away. I’m glad my family and loved ones have always been around for me. =) They are my scissors.. *hugz*
Some shots taken with my dearest ppl in the company when I was working there...
Farewell lunch for Cheryl (Middle in blue).. There were 9 in the pic.. Now only 1 is left in HQ, 2 relocated elsewhere.. the rest left.. haha!
The interns... See how happy they looked on the last day... =) They were quite pitiful actually.. I was their 'auntie agony'... haha~
This is Jean... She booked me for jogging trips next time.. haha!
This is Alvin and Mr Yen.. Alvin, about time as well... haha!
Sunny, Susanna, Peronel and I... Lunching at Sunny's place.. =)
Not forgetting Wilson who is in Vietnam now...
My Boss... Bob... with Wilson..
Last but not least, Peronel the mummy-to-be... haha! My mentor and best friend there... Not forgetting Catherine and Joseph! haha... =)
With that, I end one chapter in my life..
I look forward to the start of another chapter...........
.... but in the meantime, let me just enjoy my 2 weeks of break at home =)
There was this complimentary side dish (fried dumplings).. When u pay with i-forgot-which card, and above a minimum spending.. haha~
This is Liying with her bag from Mango + price tag.. HAHA! How proud................. =P
See how charming Tom Hanks is........ Still as handsome! Professor Robert Langdon~ He seems more at ease with his role this time round..
I would say, it's been a long time since we had such a heart-warming picture taken.. Morale in the company wasnt too good these few months.. There were tension, politics, stress and pressure.. It's good to relax and chat over food once in a while.. This is what I call bonding.. haha!
